2008/12/14;
12:16 AM
Hey you hey blog. Desp. Its me now. One day I was thinking that I can out from my home SHIT home. But I’m afraid. I don’t have a bravery for it. Ok I’m a courageous person. I always feel jealous if I saw a kids/ whatever can have a good connection with her/his mom. I didn’t have it since I was in junior high school. I don’t know why.
My friend (im sorry ok?) has said that im so selfish. But, hey, you don’t understand man.
He said that im not thank God for what I have. Its all material. Handphone, iPod, go abroad. I appreciate it. I’m happy for what I have. Now, I don’t want it all. I don’t want any material here. I just want the best connect with my mom. That’s all. I think its enough for me.
Now mom, I want you to know something that you don’t know. Its all about your bad side. Ok? And I want you to change it. Ive told you many time and it seems like you don’t care about it. And this is the list(s)
1. Im different from the other mom. So stop say that ‘your friends are more CLEVER than you. You have to be more clever that your friends. You can do it’. No mom. You don’t know where is my limit.
2. Stop want me to be perfect. I know you are the person like Mrs. Perfect but its not me. The person that can get 100 for the score, get A+ for her native speaker in her primary. Actually its not me anymore. Its for you mom. You are always think about you.
3. Now, im different. Im not the person that always can get the best score or be perfect like you. So, please UNDERSTAND me.
4. Don’t be so talkative mom, actually im bored. Don’t regard me as a child under 5 y.o please ? im 14 y.o now. Im a teenager. And please shut you mouth for a minute.
That’s all I want. Hard ? For you mom. For me its not difficult to change. I don’t want any material. I have it all. I appreciate that. Thanks mom. But now, I want it. Just 4 things that you must do it for me. I’ve done a lot, but your not happy. Ive done a lot but your not appreciate that. I always try to shut my mouth when my mom mad at me. I always try to be perfect even I cant. I always try to smile even I cant smile with you mom. And now, I really really don’t know how to make my mom happy. Ive limit and im tired. If I cry, I don’t want my mom to know it. I always feel that im alone. I don’t have any brother or sister. I dnt want to be alone. But what can I do ? make a new child ? no .and my mom doesn’t know everything. And my mom’ll NEVER know if she never try to understand me.
I want this again . happy family. Without a talkative mom. I love you dad. Really2 love you.
hey and good bye :D
